Finding a roommate is like an arranged marriage. There are compatibility checks, background checks, and personal questions asked directly to someone you probably never would have otherwise. It starts with a message, escalates to a call in a couple of days, and to meeting up. Fast forward a few months and you are sharing a home. Woah.
With my limited month-ful of experience, I realised there are certain decisions we all have to take and certain conversations that we all have to have. And while I was going through this process, I asked people a bunch of questions and thought about a lot of things. So I'm writing this to make my life easier (my roommates will also see this: hi guys!), and even yours (because youcan should share this with your roommates telling them you think you guys should follow them easy-peasy gone is the awkward conversation) Oh what nice publicity I will get :P
Jokes apart...
Money money money
The first thing you need to be clear about is your budget. Finances are tricky. Apartments are expensive. Know how much your cap amount is. Discuss it with your parents.
When you are looking for roommates, look for people who have a similar budget. This will make the process of finding apartments much easier since elimination due to the budget will become infrequent. Compromising at the end of the day due to largely different budgets that your roommates have, is something you could possibly resent them for (even if the compromise was your decision).
Eating habits, smoking, and drinking
Since you are living with this person, you want to make sure you are comfortable with their lifestyle, and they are with yours. Eating habits often become a deal breaker for vegetarians. A sweet in between could be if nonvegetarian people do not cook meat at home, and store meat in closed containers when they order it from outside. Again, maybe some people would not be okay with calling for nonvegetarian food at home in the first place. Likewise, there are lots of grey areas. I'm okay if you drink, as long as you can take care of yourself. I'm okay if you smoke, as long as you don't in the house.
For most people, these things are black or white. But due to factors like friendships, or belonging to the same city, the same people begin considering the grey. My suggestion is that if you do, be very specific and clear from day one about what works for you and what doesn't.
CLEANLINESS: leave a place how you would like it to be left to you
This is very subjective. We all start off and continue to want our own room and bathroom. But here is where your budget plays a major role. You will realise that the average price for a house you want, and we'll get to what to keep in mind while looking for a house later, will be X for sharing rooms and bathroom, Y for individual rooms and sharing a bathroom, and Z for individual room and bath. At Atlanta, it's 550, 700, and 1000 dollars per month respectively. You are going to have to stick to your budget. So this choice becomes easy. Because it really isn't much of a choice unless you let go of some other stuff. Keep reading.
Does it matter whether my roommates are from the same course as me?
Yes, and no. It may help if you have group projects and you get along with them. It may help if you are stuck somewhere (but I question how many people would ask their roommate for academic help). I mean it really may help.
But there's a flip side if you just want to come home to peace. If you don't want there to be any bad blood or competition. If you don't want to be living and working with the same people. None of this will necessarily happen, I'm just talking about the possibilities.
I'll be living with one person from my course, and two from others. And I think that's a pretty sweet combination.
Does their place of origin matter?
Another important thing would be that people from the same place you come from, would probably be the ones you would get along with better. So yes, it does. There's a connection that you share. Of course there are exceptions. But reaching out to people from the same city would be a good idea because you even get a chance to meet them in person that way.
2 people? 3 people? 4 people? More people?
I was very excited at the thought of 2 people in an apartment. Easy management. Simple life. But the girl I was talking told me she planned to come back to India in January for some work for half a month, and I realised I didn't want to be alone. So 2 could get lonely. But otherwise pretty sorted.
With three people, it's great if you're all friends. It's not as much as four, but 2/3 people being at home has a higher possibility. The downside of this is that 2/3 people might get along more. And one person may feel a little out of place. This doesn't seem reason enough to not go with 3. I'm just putting it out there though.
4 is sweet. It's okay if there are two pairs of 2, but it'd be amazing if all 4 got along. There's a higher chance you'll get along with 1-2 people, so lower chances of feeling left out. But while more the merrier, more the crowd too.
More than 4 I have not thought about. If you have views, I would like to know!
How do I choose my house?
My priorities were safety, proximity to the university (has to be within a mile and walking distance), and the presence of a grocery store nearby. Everyone has their own list. Since safety is one of the common concern, safe apartment complexes tend to be more expensive. For example, in a relatively unsafe area, I could get my own room for 500 dollars too. So you will have to pick your priorities and decide what matters most to you. My aim is to expose you to all the things that could matter. Maybe your priority is having your own room. Maybe it is having good amenities in the building. It could be important for you to have a good parking space. Or an inbuilt washer dryer. Or an air conditioner or elevator. I don't know. Figure it out.
Should I take the living room?
I like the idea of having a common space between three or four or more people. But maybe converting the living room is much cheaper or feasible. Here are the things you should keep in mind:
Sleep timings also come under lifestyle, right? So if I'm sharing rooms with someone, how could this affect me?
I guess again there needs to be an understanding that alarms are going to ring at awkward timings. And the other person will have to push themselves to wake up quickly.
But beyond that, if you guys have a common space (assuming you do if you are sharing rooms), then you could have a rule where each person studies in the living area if the roommate is sleeping. This is easily workable, and clashing schedules would not, as far as I can imagine, affect you negatively.
A general suggestion is that be clear about what stuff is yours, and if someone wants something, they should ask you before taking it. And return it back. I have heard multiple instances of people not able to express this, and facing trouble confronting their roommates about it later on.
And it's important to have friends other than your roommates as well. But this probably would come under another post which I may or may not write in the future.
Yepp, summarising.
So yeah, have difficult discussions. Be open to what others are saying and keep thinking about what works best for YOU. Continue to communicate openly.
And if you can't...
Good luck if you're on your own roommate or house hunt!
Kanksha <3
I find it funny how I wrote this post and I haven't even lived by myself yet. But this advice is a compilation of things I have read, things my mom has told me, stuff that my seniors have passed on, things from discussions I've had with my friends, and arguments with my head when I had to make these decisions too.
I had the time to put it down, and the inclination so I went ahead. I hope it helps. I know it doesn't give you concrete answers, but it delineates the possibilities that should help you make informed decisions.
If there's something you think I could add, mention it in the comments and I'll append it to the post! More information is always welcome.
With my limited month-ful of experience, I realised there are certain decisions we all have to take and certain conversations that we all have to have. And while I was going through this process, I asked people a bunch of questions and thought about a lot of things. So I'm writing this to make my life easier (my roommates will also see this: hi guys!), and even yours (because you
Jokes apart...
Money money money
The first thing you need to be clear about is your budget. Finances are tricky. Apartments are expensive. Know how much your cap amount is. Discuss it with your parents.
When you are looking for roommates, look for people who have a similar budget. This will make the process of finding apartments much easier since elimination due to the budget will become infrequent. Compromising at the end of the day due to largely different budgets that your roommates have, is something you could possibly resent them for (even if the compromise was your decision).
Eating habits, smoking, and drinking
Since you are living with this person, you want to make sure you are comfortable with their lifestyle, and they are with yours. Eating habits often become a deal breaker for vegetarians. A sweet in between could be if nonvegetarian people do not cook meat at home, and store meat in closed containers when they order it from outside. Again, maybe some people would not be okay with calling for nonvegetarian food at home in the first place. Likewise, there are lots of grey areas. I'm okay if you drink, as long as you can take care of yourself. I'm okay if you smoke, as long as you don't in the house.
For most people, these things are black or white. But due to factors like friendships, or belonging to the same city, the same people begin considering the grey. My suggestion is that if you do, be very specific and clear from day one about what works for you and what doesn't.
CLEANLINESS: leave a place how you would like it to be left to you
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This is super important to me. I may not be super regular with stuff at home, but I know I could not survive in a messy environment. Enforcing rules of cleanliness is tough without offending another person. Here are some I have thought of.
In the kitchen
- Wash vessels in real time. It takes two minutes. Really. This way you won't get attacked by cockroaches one fine day when you grab a glass of water at midnight.
- When you are done cooking, clear the counter. Put things back. Clean the platform like it was before.
- Clean the sink and remove food from the net that's stopping it from draining away with the water.
In the bathroom:
- There is a wet area. That is where you have a bath. There is a dry area. That is generally where you emit bodily fluids. Keep the dry area dry. You don't want water on your feet every time you step in. (This is sometimes not obvious in India, because the area is the same. That is not the case there. There will be some partition between the two.)
- Girls especially, when you wash your hair, make sure you pick it up with a designmated toothbrush at the end and throw it in the trash. That will keep the bathing area clean.
- If there is a bucket you are using, flip it over once done to remove the excess water. Keep it flipped over if you want, no harm.
- Keep the sink clean after you use it.
Roommates or Flatmates?General:
- Have trash days or weeks assigned to a person. Basically designate how you're splitting taking the trash out so some people don't always have to do it.
- If you're sharing milk and other basic food products that are cheaper if you buy greater quantities, create a system for that too.
This is very subjective. We all start off and continue to want our own room and bathroom. But here is where your budget plays a major role. You will realise that the average price for a house you want, and we'll get to what to keep in mind while looking for a house later, will be X for sharing rooms and bathroom, Y for individual rooms and sharing a bathroom, and Z for individual room and bath. At Atlanta, it's 550, 700, and 1000 dollars per month respectively. You are going to have to stick to your budget. So this choice becomes easy. Because it really isn't much of a choice unless you let go of some other stuff. Keep reading.
Does it matter whether my roommates are from the same course as me?
Yes, and no. It may help if you have group projects and you get along with them. It may help if you are stuck somewhere (but I question how many people would ask their roommate for academic help). I mean it really may help.
But there's a flip side if you just want to come home to peace. If you don't want there to be any bad blood or competition. If you don't want to be living and working with the same people. None of this will necessarily happen, I'm just talking about the possibilities.
I'll be living with one person from my course, and two from others. And I think that's a pretty sweet combination.
Does their place of origin matter?
Another important thing would be that people from the same place you come from, would probably be the ones you would get along with better. So yes, it does. There's a connection that you share. Of course there are exceptions. But reaching out to people from the same city would be a good idea because you even get a chance to meet them in person that way.
2 people? 3 people? 4 people? More people?
I was very excited at the thought of 2 people in an apartment. Easy management. Simple life. But the girl I was talking told me she planned to come back to India in January for some work for half a month, and I realised I didn't want to be alone. So 2 could get lonely. But otherwise pretty sorted.
With three people, it's great if you're all friends. It's not as much as four, but 2/3 people being at home has a higher possibility. The downside of this is that 2/3 people might get along more. And one person may feel a little out of place. This doesn't seem reason enough to not go with 3. I'm just putting it out there though.
4 is sweet. It's okay if there are two pairs of 2, but it'd be amazing if all 4 got along. There's a higher chance you'll get along with 1-2 people, so lower chances of feeling left out. But while more the merrier, more the crowd too.
More than 4 I have not thought about. If you have views, I would like to know!
How do I choose my house?
My priorities were safety, proximity to the university (has to be within a mile and walking distance), and the presence of a grocery store nearby. Everyone has their own list. Since safety is one of the common concern, safe apartment complexes tend to be more expensive. For example, in a relatively unsafe area, I could get my own room for 500 dollars too. So you will have to pick your priorities and decide what matters most to you. My aim is to expose you to all the things that could matter. Maybe your priority is having your own room. Maybe it is having good amenities in the building. It could be important for you to have a good parking space. Or an inbuilt washer dryer. Or an air conditioner or elevator. I don't know. Figure it out.
Should I take the living room?
I like the idea of having a common space between three or four or more people. But maybe converting the living room is much cheaper or feasible. Here are the things you should keep in mind:
- Your flatmates will cook in the kitchen. There will be noise, even if they are being considerate. Let them know they will have to be considerate.
- You will have to look for a partition. This could be a Chinese curtain, or a huge cupboard maybe, or a mix of both. But this is your lookout, your hassle, and your investment.
- You may or may not have your own cupboard. You may have to share a bathroom and/or cupboard with someone. Both parties need to be okay with this. This also means that the person who has a room and is sharing cupboard space and bathroom space with you may have to keep the door open at most times, or at least have an open door policy with the person living in the hall specifically. Discuss this openly. Check who you are most comfortable sharing space with.
I guess again there needs to be an understanding that alarms are going to ring at awkward timings. And the other person will have to push themselves to wake up quickly.
But beyond that, if you guys have a common space (assuming you do if you are sharing rooms), then you could have a rule where each person studies in the living area if the roommate is sleeping. This is easily workable, and clashing schedules would not, as far as I can imagine, affect you negatively.
A general suggestion is that be clear about what stuff is yours, and if someone wants something, they should ask you before taking it. And return it back. I have heard multiple instances of people not able to express this, and facing trouble confronting their roommates about it later on.
And it's important to have friends other than your roommates as well. But this probably would come under another post which I may or may not write in the future.
Yepp, summarising.
1. You need to be clear about what you want.If you realise they are not understanding of your needs initially, feel glad that you realised at the beginning, and look for new people. It's okay if you don't find them in the first or second go. Be patient. There are lots of people.
2. Then you need to be able to communicate it with your roommates.
So yeah, have difficult discussions. Be open to what others are saying and keep thinking about what works best for YOU. Continue to communicate openly.
And if you can't...
Good luck if you're on your own roommate or house hunt!
Kanksha <3
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A SMALL NOTE
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I find it funny how I wrote this post and I haven't even lived by myself yet. But this advice is a compilation of things I have read, things my mom has told me, stuff that my seniors have passed on, things from discussions I've had with my friends, and arguments with my head when I had to make these decisions too.
I had the time to put it down, and the inclination so I went ahead. I hope it helps. I know it doesn't give you concrete answers, but it delineates the possibilities that should help you make informed decisions.
If there's something you think I could add, mention it in the comments and I'll append it to the post! More information is always welcome.
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