Being smooth

I am trying to understand the art of being smooth. What is being smooth? I think it's when someone makes you feel good about something intentionally, but the way they do that seems effortless. Words just flow out, and they are often a mix of sweet and playful. 

What effort or thought goes into this? And how do people do it with seemingly zero effort or thought? 

I think the first skill is exaggeration. Not to an unreasonable amount where it feels completely untrue, but just enough. A little more than what is due. For instance, when someone sends you new music and perhaps 5 songs that they like, a response could be "Thank you, I'm going to be listening to this all afternoon!". You're not going to be listening all afternoon really, because it's 25 minutes tops, but that sentence acknowledges the effort put behind sending multiple songs really well. Just a little exaggeration, enough to keep it genuine. 😊

The second skill is having a playful tone. Sometimes you don't want to sound serious. But you want to communicate something to someone. Like when you want to drop the phone with a friend let's say. And one way to do that is, "Ab tu mere dil mein rahegi, phone pe nahi" (you will now be in my heart, and not on the phone). And that is just so much nicer to hear than "I'm sorry but I've got to go." It's exaggerated but not untrue, and coupled with that smile and tone, communicates what you want but in a really nice way. ☀️

I'm not sure how to talk this way. I don't know how to exaggerate but still remain genuine. But I want to learn. 

Love,

Kanksha 

thoughts before a meeting sitting on the couch

I look around me. My mattress is in my friends' living room. My makeshift closet in the space dedicated for their washing machine. My bags are parked at the far end of their corridor to not bother anyway. And a corner next to my mattress holds random items for regular use that can be picked up easily when required. Like my personal laptop. Or a bunch of chargers and a book to read. 

This isn't where I imagined myself to be a year ago. Definitely not two years ago. It's not out of need, it is out of choice. And I don't have my own space really, but there's so much comfort because I am not lonely. I am coming home to a house that is not empty. And that's something I hope I don't take for granted again.

Living alone, completely alone, teaches you about silence and how terrifying it can be. It teaches you how walking from the parking lot to your home at night makes you wish you had a knife and the skills to use it. It makes things like grocery shopping fun because you go outside and meet the world. Having your own space, and only your own, urges you to get out of it as much as possible. 

And sometimes, it's not silent, but quiet. You can put music on the speakers, sip some tea, look out of your window and watch the hummingbird build its nest, branch by branch. The same situation. The same locality and environment. But a different headspace brings out a different feeling. Of calm, instead of feeling trapped in a hole where digging only makes you sink further.

I recently read about how our brain is really stupid. It convinces us and finds reasons to believe what we want to believe. 

So let's all choose to believe in all the good things. About ourselves. And also about others. And watch our brain convince us of its truth.

Love,

Kanksha