Highly suggest you listen and read along as always!
People generally get worked up about two things - their career and social life. They put in effort into those, day after day, night after night, and probably sacrifice other things that they love, but in the end, the result makes them question whether it was all worth it.
People generally get worked up about two things - their career and social life. They put in effort into those, day after day, night after night, and probably sacrifice other things that they love, but in the end, the result makes them question whether it was all worth it.
In the case of relationships (the healthy ones) and friendships, I'd like to say and think that they are. Sharing a connection with another human being, being able to be so comfortably natural, letting that person in, and allowing yourself to trust that person is a beautiful feeling. It is irreplaceable. And whatever happens to the magical thing that you thought you were laying a foundation for, the foundation never goes away, and the bond remains. It is then up to you what you want to do with it.
It is like that delicious dish that you learned how to make. You found the ingredients for it, prepared it together, and maybe when you ate it, parts of it got absorbed into your body and parts of it turned into shit. And if more of it turned into shit, you probably realised it was junk and did not want any more of it. But like every junk food item, it is also harder to stop yourself from going back for more.
The issue is when you thought it was green, and the other person labeled you as junk for some reason that does not quite make sense to you. And while that is out of your control, the fact that he wasn't junk to you still makes it worth it. This also at times makes you feel pathetic - it is human to want to be worth it. But you cannot change what people think. It's important to know your own self-worth and move on.
In the case of a failed career attempt or internship, I would easily say the pain is worth it. It would be worth it because while the result of a pass/fail is important and makes you feel things good and bad, the objective of doing the work would be learning and exploring. (And I have learned so much more from my failures and mistakes than my successes.)
At a much lower scale, I was disappointed by a lower grade when I was expecting much more. Another thing I can do nothing about, I told myself. What was the point of working so hard, studying from reference books, and writing things that make sense, when people who do the opposite get more marks? Why did it feel like it wasn't worth it? It was because the objective of studying that way - the good way, was to get good marks. I did not make the diagrams seven times just because it helped me understand better. No no no. I made them so that they were so perfect, I could make them in a jiffy impeccably. It was for a good score. It was so that I'd get a better score than I ever have.
The issue is when you thought it was green, and the other person labeled you as junk for some reason that does not quite make sense to you. And while that is out of your control, the fact that he wasn't junk to you still makes it worth it. This also at times makes you feel pathetic - it is human to want to be worth it. But you cannot change what people think. It's important to know your own self-worth and move on.
In the case of a failed career attempt or internship, I would easily say the pain is worth it. It would be worth it because while the result of a pass/fail is important and makes you feel things good and bad, the objective of doing the work would be learning and exploring. (And I have learned so much more from my failures and mistakes than my successes.)
At a much lower scale, I was disappointed by a lower grade when I was expecting much more. Another thing I can do nothing about, I told myself. What was the point of working so hard, studying from reference books, and writing things that make sense, when people who do the opposite get more marks? Why did it feel like it wasn't worth it? It was because the objective of studying that way - the good way, was to get good marks. I did not make the diagrams seven times just because it helped me understand better. No no no. I made them so that they were so perfect, I could make them in a jiffy impeccably. It was for a good score. It was so that I'd get a better score than I ever have.
And the problem with doing things for an objective that you cannot control is that you will never feel that it was worth it if things go wrong. You need to make sure that the objective that you are doing things for is under your control and is for you. Study because you want to learn, not for an exam. Intern because you want to learn, not for the university that will take you if you do it.
That's all for now,
Kanksha
In fact, a classic example of people doing things for others is the University admit case. They'll do projects, internships, get teaching experience, and even fake certificates to get into a particular university. The target will be publishing a research paper in a particular conference or even being in a specific university to get into another one. So if people do not get into the university they worked hard for, they feel betrayed. It's like "HEYYY I DID EVERYTHING YOU ASKED FOR AND YOU STILL REJECTED ME GIVE ME AN EXPLANATION WHY" but you cannot possibly get an explanation. And anyway, getting in was not just going to be determined by your efforts. There is always luck/destiny/good-day factor that cannot be ignored.
I'm not implying that you should not put an effort into something.
My friend once told me
efforts>>>>>result. This is like the Bhagvad Gita given to you by me mathematically.I'll make an addition.
effort ⇏ result.And the best way to make peace with that is trying to put in the effort for a reason we are in control of.
That's all for now,
Kanksha
