Welcome to growing up

Growing up is making sure you get up at a particular time and sleep at a reasonable time before that so you are where you have to be on time. It is being able to estimate correctly and follow your schedule without someone (parents) enforcing the same on you.

Growing up is being able to take care of yourself. You need to know where you can go, at what time you can go, and whether your destination or journey is safe or not. It's setting up Auto Pay so that you don't pay a $200 fine because you forgot to pay the bills. It's stepping into a grocery three times a week because you keep forgetting what you need, or something gets over. And it's about deciding what you want to eat, and actually making it for yourself no matter how tired you are.

Most importantly, growing up is about making decisions without someone telling you what is right or wrong, because it's time you understand that yourself. I had my department orientation today for my Master's Program, and the professor taking it said

"Welcome to growing up and the expectation of maturity and making wise decisions."

And that hit really hard. 

After a huge part of your life being told what to do, making your own decisions could be the biggest change an adult has to face. At home, you have all sorts of rules - don't go here, be home by a certain time, keep some distance from people and evaluate for yourself how they are before you interact with them more closely, and these are just a few. Even at school, courses are selected out for you. There are hard prerequisites. Basically, there are rules for you to follow, and your only job is to stick to them instead of wandering. 

For instance, all through my undergraduate degree, I wished that I could pick my own courses. I wondered why I had to do some that I really did not want to do. But now when I am compelled to pick my own courses, I feel a little confused and am required to do a lot more thinking to understand what I really want. That thinking is great. But it is also overwhelming because I'm worried about going wrong with my decisions. 

But growing up is also fun and exciting. There is so much freedom. There are so many emotions. And so much to figure out. What do I want to do? Why do I want to do it? What do I want to eat tonight, funnily enough, is the harder one. I'm kidding of course. 

I may miss things being handed to me on a silver platter, but this phase of discovery and independence is both challenging and fun. It's an experience, a sudden life change and a chance to start fresh (irrespective of whether you need/want it). New people, new place, new school. I hope to make the most of it.

 

Lots of love,

Kanksha