Monday, 17 February 2020

To all my friends looking for a special someone



Recommend that you listen as you read along!!

There's a lot I always want to talk about. I want to talk about how pretty the sky looks like in the morning. I want to talk about the benefits of having something you do consistently every morning because it grounds you, and makes you feel less overwhelmed and more orderly in this (chaotic for me) life. The importance of knowing that it's hard to jump multiple steps on the ladder of success, and how going one step at a time slowly but patiently can eventually get you to the top.

I want to tell you how amazing it feels seeing your parents after four months of not seeing them face to face. The fun in sharing joy with your friends when you give them a surprise and fall back into routine with them on vacation. How good home smells and tastes. How much I miss the sea. The noise and traffic, the street shops and people. If there was a way I could transfer all that I have felt in the past few months, I would. 

I think that's one of my favourite things to do. I like making people feel. I like knowing how they feel, and giving them perspective on that, providing a nudge to make them them think differently. 

A lot of my friends are nearing the marriageable age. It's the next big thing everyone is looking forward to now that a lot of people have graduated and are working. Well, I wouldn't say looking forward to exactly. There is fear in how to figure out whether a person is the right person. There is skepticism in whether they ever will find any person. There's more excitement for the best friend's wedding, irrespective of whether there is a guy or not. And the one thing that you'll see all twenty-something year old kids (oops adults) discuss is why society expects you to get married in the first place.

Society has such a large influence on us, especially on what we expect, how we behave in relationships, and the timing of things we want in life. (I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm talking about all kinds of relationships.) So does the media and entertainment industry. There's one definition of being close, of expressing love and care... and to be able to look beyond that, I feel, is getting harder. But beyond any external factors, our relationships and the people we pick to be a part of our lives are largely governed by our beliefs.

We have beliefs about education and money, about sports, music, and art. We have beliefs about religion and culture. And some about love, relationships, communication, and intimacy. What's interesting is that we tend to have these beliefs because we feel like they benefit us in certain ways.

More specifically in the context of marriage, and finding a significant other, these beliefs would sort of be a driving factor. Maybe you want someone from the same religion or cultural background because that gets approval from the family, maybe you haven't been open to dating because your belief that love is stupid helped you stay more focused when you needed to, maybe your belief that every next person may cheat on you helps you not get hurt again. Perhaps you pick someone who has a particular occupation because of how you feel about certain occupations, and money they bring.

Think about what beliefs you have. Like take a pen and paper, and write down what they are and how you think they are helping you. Are they really helping you? Do you want to work on a better belief? I don't know, but you will if you think hard enough :)

have a great day you guys.
Cheers to my first blog post of 2020. <3
Kanksha

Cute card I got this Valentine's day. If only someone actually stole my heart. Jk, I would die.

Sometimes it is really nice not knowing what is going to happen next. Just knowing that whatever is going to happen is something you will be able to look dead in the eye with a smile on your face is an incredibly empowering feeling. I'm not sure why I wrote this. I think I just feel happy I got to writing this blogpost. Okay bye!