part of life

The world does not stop. No one and no thing is irreplaceable. Everybody eventually figures it out... or dies. Okay that was slightly dark maybe.

I don't want my loved ones to stop living their lives. I don't want them to miss me terribly. But when they don't miss me, there is a sudden sadness that overtakes me and I feel like I'm being forgotten. I feel like I'm becoming something that WAS a part of their life. And even though the relationship you share does not change, stuff does change. They find other people to rely on. And so do you. And eventually, that's what you become - an important precious part of their life, but a part of their life in the continuous tense no more. And that is a hard truth to digest. 

I guess that coming from the Indian society, where families live together, and support each other all the time, where everyone is involved in everyone's life... coming to the Western society is interesting. It is a lot of things that we traditionally are not. Everyone is more independent. People are more involved in their own lives, and the lives of their significant other and children. Children leave the house after a certain age and learn how to live life by themselves - they find their own significant other by themselves and don't have the luxury of parents doing that either :P

Jokes apart, it was hard for me to decide how I feel about such an independent lifestyle. It is completely out of my comfort zone. I guess even more hard for me because I am so attached to family back at home, and take their opinions and suggestions, and look for validation all the time. And having this guidance is extremely helpful at a younger age, but transitioning from there to figuring out how I feel and what I want is a confusing process.

How do you find a balance between independence and wholehearted support? When do you think about your emotions, and when do you think about self progress? Which environment most supports growth? Exactly how does this transition from being a child to being an adult work? 

I'm sure I'm going to have the same questions in different parts of my life. If and when I have kids in my life, it'll be more along the lines of 'how the heck does an adult still figuring his/her life out bring up another life'? I'm already working towards understanding how two people accommodate each other into their lives, and go beyond that accommodation to get stronger and build a life together... Most of your life, you're told to do what you want, and suddenly what another person wants becomes equally important. How do you prioritise then?

Have you thought about this?

Love,
Kanksha