Why you love others more than yourself

It's not people fighting that makes me unhappy. It's them fighting about the same things and having the same discussions and the same issues coming up that leaves me perplexed. How can the same issue come up again and again? And why can't they ever sort it out once and for all.

I think it is because we don't believe in going to the root cause and trying to make things okay. The aim is to stop fighting, not solve the problem. Everything needs to be okay right now, and in the now you aren't supposed to think about the long run. To top it off, when two people are fighting, another person will get involved and try to solve it (read: subdue it) which leads to them never having properly come to a conclusion, unspoken thoughts, built up emotions and another storm brewing inside their head which will rage even harder than the previous one.

Remember the third person that I mentioned who tries to solve the problem? We're all that person when we aren't fighting. We all think differently when we aren't involved.

For instance, you'll often hear people complaining about their relationships and going back to the same person again and again. But when you ask them if they'd let their best friend or sibling go through the same, they so no almost immediately. 

Human beings have double standards. They apply some ideas to themselves, and much more refined ones to others. They're hard on themselves when they shouldn't be, and keep hold of stuff when they should let go. The issue is they stop caring enough about themselves along the way. At the same time, there are also people who don't care about others half as much as they pamper themselves.

I wouldn't have made another batch of pasta for myself. But I did find it in me to make some for Aditi's sister, even if that meant chopping extra vegetables, making more white sauce and putting more pasta to boil. (In which process, I made more for myself too.)

Even when I give advice to people, it often differs from what advice I give myself. Like for instance, if someone is barely eating, I'd admonish them and get them to eat more. But when I barely drink water, do I get mad at myself and drink more? Nope, I just let it go.

I think the double standards stem from how important you believe you are. If I believe someone is important to me, I'll do whatever it takes to keep them safe or make them comfortable and happy. I'll go out of my way to ensure they get the very best. But if I have the self esteem of a brick wall, which can be picked apart brick by brick, I'll never feel that I deserve the best or even strive to get exactly what I want.

So as clichéd as it sounds, take care of yourself, let the fights lead to peace, and love always <3

Kanksha