What People Do To Me

"Thank you!"

"You girls are doing a wonderful job!"

"This is the reason I love this city!"

"This is the highlight of the journey!"

"You're beautiful!"

"You're so enthusiastic! Where do you get the energy from?"

I get the energy from YOU.

Waking up early has never been this exciting. I rubbed my sleepy eyes wondering what I'd got myself into but little did I know what awaited. Armed with funny posters and a will to motivate fellow city dwellers, Kanksha and I cheered the Marathon runners as they ran the last leg of the event. As we screamed and danced on the pavement, we gave big, really BIG high-fives to the runners that passed by. Who knew a simple friendly gesture could go on to refuel and energise, well, strangers? The strange part was that it didn't feel as though we were making contact with strangers! The poetic notion of having no boundaries and feeling one came alive as we extended ourselves to everyone who came that way. Who the people were or what they did, didn’t matter- everyone was enraptured in the same spirit. We meant to brighten up their journey but got so much love in return! A women was elated that I woke up early "specially" for her and I was overwhelmed to see how much a seemingly silly idea meant to those it touched.

I'm not a very athletic person, yet, I continued extruding energy, jumping on the street for over three hours. Where did I get the energy from? From the people! Human interaction, no matter how brief, has a magical impact on me. Making contact for a short second as I slapped my palm against another's or my eyes smiled at someone across the road, I drew energy and gave it back to the next person. And it was beautiful!

Today, I experienced the joy of giving, giving unconditionally, extending myself without inhibition.

Today, I experienced warmth, warmth that I shared with people I didn't even know.

Today, I experienced exhilaration, massive energy from supporting another.

And today, I experienced the power of human contact, a power that cannot be sourced from anywhere else.

My toes feel funny and my side has a slight (sweet) pain but oh, what a morning it was! 

-Aditi

Bullies

The older kids that never let you play hide and seek with them and made fun of you till you got them chocolate,
The teacher that made sure you did the project as she wanted by being picky about things like green crepe paper for trees and brown velvet paper for the trunk,
The 'friends' who constantly make fun of you and make you feel alone,
And any of those people who not-with-good-intentions force you out of your comfort zone
They're bullies.
Maybe they're aware of what they're doing, maybe they aren't. But that doesn't mean that you have to deal with it.

And the bullying doesn't stop as you get older. It just changes seasons and becomes more sophisticated.

When you were young the teacher would sit and question both sides, trying to figure out who's right. Then the person who was wrong would get punished. Sit in the corner maybe, asked to introspect what went wrong. Most often the person would end up plotting against the bullied kid again and on executing the plan, the whole cycle would repeat.

And that's what happens with first class bullies. Firstly, they don't stop. But more importantly, they don't think they're doing anything wrong. Their bad behaviour is okay because the poor kid can't do anything about it. And even if the kid stands up for himself, there isn't really anyone to believe him.

At the college level, teachers turn a blind eye when you're scoring well and batchmates do the same because the person acts differently with different people. At your dream job, it'll come from your boss and you probably won't say anything because the job is very dear to you.

I think at the end of the day, we need to weigh the odds about whether the cause you're getting bullied for is worth it or not. What are you really getting out of it? If you've already got most of what you wanted, or the value addition is miniscule, please get out. Don't put up with it for so long if there are better things to do. If your boss at Google* treats you awfully, go get a job at Facebook and shove it in his face. So yes, you need to have a back up plan. You can't just quit because you'll ruin things for yourself. But you have to figure out a way out of it, even if it isn't quitting. Giving back to the bully isn't always an option, because you'll probably end up sabotaging good things and affecting others along the way. Speaking up isn't an option either, because that person has already built a reputation that can't be tainted.

But what we really need to think about is how to turn such a situation into a favourable one for ourselves.

How do you do that?

Love always,
Kanksha

*Taken names just for the sake of example.

What matters to you?

When your best friend is conducting a psychology experiment and greets you with a “Hello, how do you do?”, you cannot help but hold back a laugh saying “Very well”. It’s true guys, a counsellor cannot counsel their friends. It’s the lack of seriousness, presence of a personal bond, and the natural bias towards your friend since you’re only able to listen to things from their perspective (or since they’re the focal asset in pysch words (am I right?)). A counsellor can only advice, and be a rational friend at the most. But participating in Aditi’s pysch experiments was one of the most amusing experince I have shared with her.

On the other hand, I think I am in love with the Xavier’s Library. Don’t think I’m the first one either. It’s beautiful. Gives you the vintage feel from the British Era with books you’ve only seen to look like that in movies, the old doors that leave the top and bottom open which can be pushed lead us into different cubicles on the side, and you can find all kinds of students sitting in the library. The reference books section has books on every topic you can think of, and the place is so magical, if I was studying at Xaviers, the library would probably be my safe haven. If it wasn’t obvious already, I can’t get over it.

It’s just the college. They call a bunch of trees the Woods, and the Indian Music Room is the only one that has an air conditioner since it is sponsored by Britannica – not even the Principal’s cabin has one. There are staircases that only fit two people and spiral upwards which are really cool. Not to mention all the happy faces, coloured hair, vibrant personalities – people sitting in lectures and actually paying close attention to what the teachers are saying. You find people alone, people in groups discussing math questions, and people sitting randomly in the campus chilling in the break. Even though I was an outsider, I didn’t feel lonely.

😀😀😀😊😊😊ツツツ

Today has just been an overwhelming day. I found this draft written by me on 26th September 2014.

“In a universe so big, the earth is nothing but a pale blue dot. Just from a galaxy away, you might not even realise that we even exist. And there are millions of galaxies. There are gazillion planets and infinite stars. So yes, our solar system is like our mini-infinity. In this mini infinity, there are so many things we never procrastinate about (unless we have to study or work because that's the perfect time for all of us to wonder about every aspect of life) For instance, every glance in the darkness shows you the past. If the sun decides to disappear one day, you'll realise it took that decision eight minutes later. The star you see millions of light years away looked like that millions of light years ago. You'll never know how it looks like at the moment.
^But does this matter?
Today, I'll ask you the question every student applying to Stanford will be answering this year. What matters to you?”

Two things:
1. In 2014, I knew what question every student applying to Stanford would be answering, and now I don’t.
2. I'm still not sure about what matters.

Those amusing moments spent with your friends, the solace in a library, and feeling-in-place in a strange place – they’re just the smaller things that keep you going as you work towards the bigger things that matter.

So today, I'll still ask you the same question. What matters to you?

Always providing food for thought for the hungry,
Kanksha

P.S.: Did you know that ツ is the Katakana letter tu?
(Yeah, I know. Doesn't matter.)

New year, New day

I had a Kanksha day today.
Wanted to wake up at 7:00am, woke up at 8:30. Was supposed to leave at 10:00am, left at 10:13. Reached the station quick enough only to find out that I've forgotten my lunch box. Dad came to give it to me (and proceeded to go to office) and I got into the next train that I was supposed to take.

I have two categories of Kanksha days - either days when I'm always late inspite of having the intention of being on time because the world just doesn't want me to, or crazy busy days when there's something or the other happening throughout the day and I get time to sit back only when I have to sleep.

Then there are Disha days. Days when you're feeling lazy and don't do anything, staring at the ceiling while you put your feet back and relax doesn't count. Or days when all you do is read, eat, and sleep with the occasional computer game level up perhaps. There are Aditi days full of productivity, where you get so much work done, it's unbelievable. Something like the second category of a Kanksha day. There are Bhavya days when everything goes wrong, from which she'll make everyone laugh their heads off at the dinner table because she makes it sound funny instead of miserable.

And I don't want to think about or analyse anything in this blogpost. But this year, hope you have a little bit of Kanksha, Disha, Aditi, and Bhavya days in your life. Don't stick to your own days, keep exploring. There are 365 different ones you want to live before the next year, of course. Things will go wrong, you will be late, traffic will be there when you have an important meeting, and there will be days when you accomplish all and even more than you planned. You'll feel lazy and staying in bed, you'll feel like getting out of the house and crave a vacation too but revel in all those moments since it's those moments that make your year your year. They give you things to talk about, things to think about - they give you stories.

You're a living story, this year try to act like it.

Love always,
Kanksha