Bullies

The older kids that never let you play hide and seek with them and made fun of you till you got them chocolate,
The teacher that made sure you did the project as she wanted by being picky about things like green crepe paper for trees and brown velvet paper for the trunk,
The 'friends' who constantly make fun of you and make you feel alone,
And any of those people who not-with-good-intentions force you out of your comfort zone
They're bullies.
Maybe they're aware of what they're doing, maybe they aren't. But that doesn't mean that you have to deal with it.

And the bullying doesn't stop as you get older. It just changes seasons and becomes more sophisticated.

When you were young the teacher would sit and question both sides, trying to figure out who's right. Then the person who was wrong would get punished. Sit in the corner maybe, asked to introspect what went wrong. Most often the person would end up plotting against the bullied kid again and on executing the plan, the whole cycle would repeat.

And that's what happens with first class bullies. Firstly, they don't stop. But more importantly, they don't think they're doing anything wrong. Their bad behaviour is okay because the poor kid can't do anything about it. And even if the kid stands up for himself, there isn't really anyone to believe him.

At the college level, teachers turn a blind eye when you're scoring well and batchmates do the same because the person acts differently with different people. At your dream job, it'll come from your boss and you probably won't say anything because the job is very dear to you.

I think at the end of the day, we need to weigh the odds about whether the cause you're getting bullied for is worth it or not. What are you really getting out of it? If you've already got most of what you wanted, or the value addition is miniscule, please get out. Don't put up with it for so long if there are better things to do. If your boss at Google* treats you awfully, go get a job at Facebook and shove it in his face. So yes, you need to have a back up plan. You can't just quit because you'll ruin things for yourself. But you have to figure out a way out of it, even if it isn't quitting. Giving back to the bully isn't always an option, because you'll probably end up sabotaging good things and affecting others along the way. Speaking up isn't an option either, because that person has already built a reputation that can't be tainted.

But what we really need to think about is how to turn such a situation into a favourable one for ourselves.

How do you do that?

Love always,
Kanksha

*Taken names just for the sake of example.