upset

Funny how the upset has two positive words embedded. Up, and set. The last year has had it's ups and downs, and things have been set and undone, yet I have not been able to find a better way of dealing with upset. There are really only a handful of options. 

1. Suppress how you feel
   
   Most people who study the human brain agree that this is a bad idea. You are only going to feel worse, and one day, this feeling will transition into an outburst about possibly something else, and you won't even know why something so small or stupid is affecting you to such great lengths. I don't know of any studies, but I am pretty sure you should find some backing to my claim that this is a bad idea. 
   
   
2. Let it go 
   
   What does this really consist of? If you just try to make yourself not feel the emotion, it's as good as suppressing it. I guess letting something go involves accepting your reality, and then deciding to not take any action. Most often, you decide inaction is the best course of action since things are not in your control. So I would probably rephrase letting something go as choosing to do nothing about something that upset you. And since it is a choice, even when it's a choice to do nothing, one probably feels a little better about it. 
   
   
3.  Communicate that you are upset 
   
   Communicating the feeling of being upset is quite tricky - it either makes you feel relief, or even more upset. And when you feel more upset, it is even more frustrating, because now not only are you upset for the original reasons, you're also upset because the knowledge of you being upset made no difference, and you were vulnerable for no reason. 

I think I typically try to let things go - my definition of choosing to not take action - and then eventually choose to communicate irrespective of whether things are in my control or not. 

And sometimes that gets messier in my head than I like to admit. Should I have chosen something else? What if I would have chosen inaction just one more time? Would my brain be in a better space? Would things have eventually worked out? No one will ever know.

Sometimes consistently doing what you want also leads you to think about what ifs, and there isn't much you can do about that but wonder.

Love,
Kanksha