Take ownership to enhance the experience of your own life.

I was mid-conversation with a friend today, repeating the same sentence I tell myself every day - "I really have to go for a run." I've always had an on-off relationship with running due to some or the other bodily dysfunction, but this time I know I have just been giving myself excuses. There's no motivation. There's too much other work I can do in those 30 minutes - 1 hour of being out of the house. Or the classic I don't feel like it right now even though I know I will feel amazing the minute I step out.

But mid-conversation, I also told my friend that I think I just need someone to knock on my door and be like "Kanksha, get out, we're going for a run." and that's probably the easiest way for me to start again. I also recalled how I used to be that person who would wake others up and push them to go for a run with me.

So this post is a short reminder to myself, and everyone else, to do those things that you're waiting for others to lowkey drag you to do. Do what you know you will enjoy. Be the motivator for yourself. We're not always going to have people who will accompany us, or push us to do what we should/what's good for us.

Take ownership to enhance the experience of your own life. It's a little stupid to be waiting for someone to make you do something you want to, don't you think?

Lots of love and motivation,
Kanksha

P.S. I've promised myself that I will run for 15 minutes today (and put it on my blog so that it gives me some amount of accountability haha).

Even if it rains and is cold and looks like this

Go for it and make a promise to yourself. 

Head Worn Displays and Passion

I have taken a course on Ubiquitous Computing this semester, and my motivation for taking that course was how I like almost every project done in every Ubicomp lab I have taken a look at. They're all products with the latest and coolest technology created with the aim of solving a problem (or just fun) and you can see first hand the impact of what you have made. I had been slightly confused about what exactly I was learning in the course because the lectures are super interesting, full of real-life experiences, and I thoroughly enjoy the class... But how intertwined the learning gets with experiences and stories makes it hard to concretely identify it.

Today, we had a class where the TAs had got out A LOT of our professor's head-worn displays for us to play around with. They ranged from 1998 to current ones. And suddenly everything that he was telling us in class made sense.

FASHION MATTERS! Barely anyone is going to wear something that doesn't look good.
Weight of the device will kill it vs make it thrive.
The display should be on the upper corner on the outer side or basically outside the line of vision to allow users to focus.
Why gestures to switch on/off and swiping are so much more preferable than clickable devices.
The brightness of the display matters.
And a display closer to the field of vision may actually make sense for applications that require switching from the virtual space to the real world and back. 

"Like a Mattress Protector for the Head Worn Displays"

It's really cool how with every head-worn display I picked up, I began analysing it and noticing things I really would not have earlier. Things I have learned so easily coming to me has never happened before. The things our professor taught us seemed so obvious after wearing the device. They feel commonsense when someone tells you, but it's hard to come to that conclusion before you know it I guess.

So while I may not be able to tell you what exactly I am learning in the course, I know that I am learning a lot. And I think a large part of the reason for that is how passionate the professor is while teaching. He knows a lot, as every professor does, but he also knows how to keep things interesting. Sometimes it is through providing math proofs of iron man comics about how they got it right that shooting electricity out of your fingers is possible, but would leave you with your fingers being burned and require you to consume more calories to recuperate. He talks about how paraffin is used to maintain the temperature of electronics making use of its latent heat of fusion in satellites. You can see the excitement running through him as he talks about how he can carry so much memory just in his pocket, and his frustration behind particular companies for doing particular things. "What do you call a Pentium in your pocket? A soldering iron." is one of the kinds of jokes that he cracks. (Because a Pentium has 200 watts of power which is what you need for a soldering iron.) And, "10% back to me" seems to be one of his favourite things to say, as he gives us multiple million-dollar ideas every class.

I think I really enjoy watching and listening to passionate people. Part of the reason behind that would probably be that I hope to feel that way about something someday. It's fascinating (and hilarious) when someone writes the instruction "water plants" as "H2O C55H72O5N4Mg"(chemical formula of chlorophyll). It feels great when you hear people talking about how much they love what they are doing, and how it makes them feel that it's adding so much value to their (and others') lives. And I wish to get more clarity and figure out what really consumes me in a good way.

What are you passionate about?

Love,

Kanksha

Drank too much?? Go away.

So I found myself in a situation that I have not been in before. My roommate had gone out to party with her friends. At some point, friend1 was passing out due to drinking much more than she should have. My roommate had given her keys to friend2 for safekeeping. I was at home with another roommate finishing my assignments and about to sleep when friend3 (who has taken keys from friend2) comes into the apartment with three more people with the girl who is passing out.

I can imagine the friend suffixes are getting confusing to keep up with. But basically what followed is my roommate not knowing about what is happening back at home, and that girl puking multiple times on my roommate's bed. While this may be a semi-normal occurrence for people who drink, it isn't for me. So to everyone who is reading this post, here's a request.

I'd recommend not drinking irresponsibly because I don't understand what you gain out of it. But if you are drinking irresponsibly, please do it with a set of people who know they are supposed to take care of you. I just went into the other room and slept, but my roommate and friend3 spent all night cleaning, scrubbing, and trying to get the mess out of the way. It is disgusting for the person who has to clean up after you, it is yucky to watch, and gives a sense of helplessness because you clearly are not in control of yourself.



Also, take the person who is passing out to THEIR house. Put the Uber money on the drunk person if that's what it takes.

Secondly, we've learned this the hard way now, but keep your keys with you at all times. You may give it to someone, who will use it correctly/incorrectly depending on their judgment. Ideally, they should not use it at all. But when your keys are with you and you only, at least you yourself are accountable for whatever happens and can take the call.

Lastly, be aware that you can always say no. I should have just said NO to the people who came into our house because I was uncomfortable with what was happening. I could have dealt with an angry roommate later if that was the case, but if I felt that someone was violating my space and boundaries in my own house, I had the right to say no. And I realised that too late.



It feels like a stupid thing to be so affected by, but again it is not. Anyone who knows me knows about my inhibitions with alcohol and how I am hesitant with anything about it. I've been thinking about the entire situation since last night. I feel like it was ridiculous for the girl to drink so much in the first place when she is alone in a new country. I feel like my roommate should not have given her keys to someone else. I felt torn between wanting to make sure the girl who drank was okay + helping my roommate, and not caring and allowing whoever got her there to take care of the girl and the mess - because clearly none of this is my responsibility. I felt troubled in the morning when I realised that the girl got up in the middle of the night, and went in my room from the hall, and slept on my bed, because there was always the possibility that she could have puked again. But most of all, what I feel worst about, is that I did not realise in time, that it was in my control to say no. To ask them to take that girl into the lounge, irrespective of whether they had my roommate's permission to bring her home.

If you are a part of this story and feel offended by my having written this blog post, I hope you understand why. I hope I have given anonymity to people and still managed to say what I wanted to. I just want to let it go and move on from it.

Aditi had sent this toilet sticker to me for my birthday. Forever trying and learning how to LET (SH)IT GO.

While this post delineates how it feels to be an onlooker, my aim to write this is also to tell people that there's almost always a part of the situation that is in your control. And what's important for us is to recognise that in time.

Kanksha

PS. Sorry ma, pa, you guys had to find out from the blog post. But don't worry, it's all good now. 

What makes our similar lives different?

I saw this kid while I was on my way home. His dad was letting him do whatever he wanted. The kid was this ball of energy, literally, climbing on top of rocks his size, and jumping off them as he ran ahead to finish his (imaginary) obstacle course. Trust me, the happiness when he'd skip over a stone, or when he stopped running at the "finish line" made me smile a big smile. It was 7pm, and this kid was having the time of his life with the world inside his head.

on my way home (no kid here though)

On my way to class about three weeks ago, Shreeshaa wasn't walking with me for once because she had to go talk to a company. I was walking the same road that I walk every day, but it was the first time being alone and not having to use Google maps. It was time to see, listen, and take in my surroundings. A lot of how I see the world today comes from how my family sees it. While we'll be in a car, my mom may point out flowering trees, and Dish casually mention how she saw "insert-name-here" bird. (I'm positive that the bird names she dishes out are random, but she claims otherwise.) What would I be looking at if everyone was here with me and we were just walking around? I thought to myself. And then I saw the grass which was full of dew. I heard birds chirping. I looked at the sky that was so clear, it looked fake. The trees began to look prettier, and that walk overall became so much nicer than just another walk.

Our lives really get transformed by the people we surround ourselves with. In the last post, I asked a question about what makes our lives different when we share so many similar/overlapping experiences. There are two parts to that answer:

1. You, your thoughts, and your head.
2. The people you allow in your inner circle.

You control your thoughts. You control how you feel. And you must feel completely in power to do whatever makes you feel great. When I look back and think about the kid, I think about how he was so free in doing what he wanted. He didn't care about what anyone else was doing and just did what he wanted in his own space. Secondly, his head provided space for him to be imaginative and creative. It wasn't a place of stress, worry, or sadness from past experiences - a pattern I hear about from my friends. And in some sense the only way to have a good headspace is to remember that everything is temporary. So if you are feeling low, it will get over. And at a high point, cherish it till it lasts. Find ways to enjoy the present, whatever it brings to you. How well you can do this, is the first thing that will make you experience life differently.

The people you allow in your circle are equally important. I am very lucky to be surrounded by (mostly) sensible people who are rooting for me. I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who care. I can rely on them to give me the right advice. The people I associate myself with are also to some level people like me. I become more like them as I pick things up from them - habits, words, way of living. The people I am surrounded by are mostly looking at the world with a sparkle in their eyes excited for what life has to offer, grateful for what they have, and constantly looking at the good in human beings. (of course sometimes this isn't true, but we constantly inspire each other be this way) They are able to express and communicate how they feel. And if I publish a book today, they will be the first ones to buy it (over asking for a free copy). We need supportive people like that. We need people who share similar values. And we need people who make us want to grow and become better versions of ourselves. 

I hope we all keep finding more and more people who make us smile, think, and reflect. 

I hope we keep growing and becoming better versions of ourselves.

Lots of love,

Kanksha <3

31 bananas in the house

I have so many blog posts that I want to write. They're all small ideas, or just thoughts pinned down. And I was trying to integrate everything into one post. But they either didn't mesh together, or the post would get too long. So I've decided that I'll do shorter posts, with individual ideas. I don't really know how it will work. But here goes.

Do you guys remember those math problems where a man or woman bought 20+ watermelons and we thought that was ridiculous? It probably was, but I just found out that having 31 bananas in your house is borderline normal. Ananya got 12, Shreeshaa dared to get 7, I had experimented with 6 before so 8 felt doable, and Manushi graced us with 4 more. The fruit basket was already overflowing, and now the entire island has bananas in marked plastic recyclable bags.

making this was fun

We also got a lot of pie. It is between Shreeshaa and me, and what better way of making use of your time than making a pie chart with pie?

yes I have pretty stationery

Not to mention the bunch of extra dhokla and gulab jaamun (among other things) from Navratri which we finished in half a day.

we wish we got back more food

And three of us made the same pasta today. This is funny because we made it separately at the very same time. (Read more on our different eating habits here.)

mine is bottom left

I find it very amusing that we have so much food. Our cupboards are full, the fridge is full. We enjoy grocery shopping and stocking up and looking at the completely filled cupboard - I know at least I do. Then finally we reach a point where we realise that the food is going bad, because of which we try to finish it off, and end up having to go buy even more food. Get hungry. Buy food. Make food. Eat food. Food goes bad. Finish food fast. Get hungry and buy more food because you had to finish the food you had bought quicker than you thought. Thus the cycle repeats.

In fact everything in life is a cycle (I am so sure I have said this before in some or the other post). You wake up, eat food, get ready, go to school/work to have a better life, eat some more food, and sleep. You go to a career fair, tell a different recruiter the same story, and move around the basketball stadium where your fair is held once more to repeat the same. There are people before you who have done the same. Some of them are probably changing jobs now. There are people after us who will do the same and maybe we will be changing jobs then. And because of so many of these common cycles, large parts of our lives are similar and relatable.

A bunch of people my age would have gone away from home. Gone away from home or not, at this age everyone wants to grow professionally. And everyone is definitely growing personally too. Most of us have overall similar feelings and experiences - irrespective of how much we express them. We all feel happy about the same things. We all have overlapping problems. We miss our families. There are times when we feel low. There is the birthday stress every once a year. There is pain and sweetness from remembering a person you don't talk to anymore. There is music we enjoy. And there's joy when your roommate makes you lunch without telling you when you are tired.

We all have stuff that we can "max relate" to. All those memes that have 1000s of likes on Instagram is just an example. So sometimes the repetitive pattern of ordinary life makes me wonder what is different in our lives?

Love,
Kanksha

P.S. yeah this was mainly to show off how creative I am with creating visualisations of data in real life. My Data and Visual Analytics professor should be proud of me. The philosophical life part of the blog post was just a natural extension. I don't know how my brain works. If you're still reading this, I hope you have a great day. To those who didn't get till here, I hope you have a great day too. <3

FAQs about me and my life

So you reached here because 

- you just met me and are reading this as a part of shameless publicity of my blog

- you are a loyal friend or follower who reads all of my posts (you probably know everything here already but go ahead :P)

1. Why is your name Kanksha?

Because it is a cool name. And my name was supposed to start with a K. And Aakanksha/Akanksha/Akansha is pretty overdone in my opinion. Either way, I love my name, and I'm guessing you do too.

2. Why kind of food can you eat? 

Vegetarian food without potato, onion, garlic, carrot, beetroot, radish, mushroom... and maybe even more stuff that I can't remember at this point. Google 'Jain food'.

3. What is the logic?

The idea behind Jainism is non-violence. Most religions follow this principle towards human beings, some of them extend it to animals, Jainism takes it to another level and also talks about non-violence towards (not disturbing) the five elements. The simplest way I can explain it would be that there is a different classification of organisms that we follow, sort of based on maximum life and minimum life present in it, and eat what has minimal life. Probably won't make complete sense to everyone, and I personally cannot prove it to you, but this is the reason. 

4. How are your flatmates?

Pretty amazing if I may say so (and I am not just saying this because they will be reading this). I think the most important thing to have in flatmates (beyond a similar tolerance to heat and cold temperature of course) is people who are generally considerate and care. Everyone is nice and honours the work they have taken responsibility for. What's most fun is when we are all together. I think I belly-ache laugh here much more than I did at home because they are so funny. 

5. All four of you guys (flatmates) cook separately?

Yes, we do. The thing is, A eats everything she would not mind eating, S is more vegetarian than non-vegetarian because she has days allotted to being vegetarian, M eats vegetarian food but also eggs, and I'm Jain. Our eating habits are very different. But I really like how we figured it out. We cook dinner together on weekends though. It is fun. 

6. So where all have you been so far at Atlanta?

Walmart. I spend weekends going to Walmart with the intention of returning a grinder/mixer and forgetting it at home instead. The only other place I have visited is Blaze Pizza. It was really good. And the library. :)

7. Kanksha you have time to write a blogpost but you left me on read (or an equivalent)?!

Please don't take it personally. I'm just too tired to respond, even if I want to. But I would like to think I am doing a decent job of communicating with people, even if it might be a little delayed.

Okay my lecture is over now, time to end this. More here soon (I hope!)

Kanksha

Welcome to growing up

Growing up is making sure you get up at a particular time and sleep at a reasonable time before that so you are where you have to be on time. It is being able to estimate correctly and follow your schedule without someone (parents) enforcing the same on you.

Growing up is being able to take care of yourself. You need to know where you can go, at what time you can go, and whether your destination or journey is safe or not. It's setting up Auto Pay so that you don't pay a $200 fine because you forgot to pay the bills. It's stepping into a grocery three times a week because you keep forgetting what you need, or something gets over. And it's about deciding what you want to eat, and actually making it for yourself no matter how tired you are.

Most importantly, growing up is about making decisions without someone telling you what is right or wrong, because it's time you understand that yourself. I had my department orientation today for my Master's Program, and the professor taking it said

"Welcome to growing up and the expectation of maturity and making wise decisions."

And that hit really hard. 

After a huge part of your life being told what to do, making your own decisions could be the biggest change an adult has to face. At home, you have all sorts of rules - don't go here, be home by a certain time, keep some distance from people and evaluate for yourself how they are before you interact with them more closely, and these are just a few. Even at school, courses are selected out for you. There are hard prerequisites. Basically, there are rules for you to follow, and your only job is to stick to them instead of wandering. 

For instance, all through my undergraduate degree, I wished that I could pick my own courses. I wondered why I had to do some that I really did not want to do. But now when I am compelled to pick my own courses, I feel a little confused and am required to do a lot more thinking to understand what I really want. That thinking is great. But it is also overwhelming because I'm worried about going wrong with my decisions. 

But growing up is also fun and exciting. There is so much freedom. There are so many emotions. And so much to figure out. What do I want to do? Why do I want to do it? What do I want to eat tonight, funnily enough, is the harder one. I'm kidding of course. 

I may miss things being handed to me on a silver platter, but this phase of discovery and independence is both challenging and fun. It's an experience, a sudden life change and a chance to start fresh (irrespective of whether you need/want it). New people, new place, new school. I hope to make the most of it.

 

Lots of love,

Kanksha

This is not the end so stop being sad

Most conversations with people these days revolve around goodbyes or leaving the country because that is what I will be doing soon when I leave for my Master's. And after a bunch of those conversations back to back, and me trying to sleep but the same thoughts revolving in my head not letting me sleep, I finally realised what was annoying me. So I switched off my phone's data, switched on the laptop at 1:36am, and began typing. It was time I published another blog post anyway.

When one of my closest friends went abroad for his Master's last year, I remember him asking me to not feel sad but instead feel happy for him. I know what it is like when someone you are close to decides to change addresses. I know that it can be difficult for the person who's in the same routine, and that person feels it's easier for the person who went away because he/she will meet new people and will be in a new place with new things to do. Like when you're the one staying, there's this space that doesn't automatically get filled, and it can be hard to find new things to fill it. I know because this is how I felt when he was going away. Trust me, I know.

On the other hand, I haven't felt really emotional about me going away more than four times in the past few months. And that confused and low-key annoyed me, because I am a highly emotional person. And people who I thought were less emotional were getting much more affected by it. The reason for my lack of emotion that I kept giving myself and to others was that I:
A. do not think about it or
B. block the sad thoughts.
But in my semi-sleepy state, I realised that neither of those two are accurate. I don't feel constantly emotional about it because I don't focus on how I'm leaving people. Because I am not.

I am not leaving my family behind.
I am not leaving my friends.
I am going there to study, and in that process I may not physically be there with my family and friends. But the lack of a physical presence does not mean I am leaving them.

And I think the minute you see going away as something temporary (I don't understand why it is assumed forever), the minute you stop seeing it as leaving people behind and acknowledge that it is your choice and something you want to do, the minute everyone around you also changes their mindset about you going away, is the minute you'll feel a little better about it.

I don't know what I am trying to say in the blog post, so if you are looking for a conclusion, I may end up giving you multiple conflicting ones.

Because on one had, I'd ask you to be happy for people like me. I'd ask you to bring a shift from leaving to coming back soon, cherish the time till departure, and know that history repeats itself hence so will this 'time of your life'. I'd ask you to have faith and security in your relationships with people, and trust the solid groundwork coupled with effort to keep them stable. At the same time, we (people like me going away) also want to be able to express how much we will miss life so far. And how even though a lot of things will change, some things never will and we need that reassurance. We want the bittersweet moments. We're a pinch of scared and a bunch of excited added with an anxious and worried and ready for it and knowing how much you will miss us too makes it both better and worse.

I think instead of asking someone to not feel sad about me going, or asking myself to not feel sad about myself going, I'd tell them and myself to to stop being sad (in the continuous tense). Like be sad in the present, feel how you feel, express it and move on from it. And while we all do this eventually, do it consciously right now too. No one can ignore their feelings forever - you may bottle them up but I'm a firm believer of how they always get back to you eventually. So yeah, let your heart speak. And then let your brain talk to you too.
Because in general, in life, we all have to find a way to listen to both.

And currently? This is not the end so stop being sad.

Love,
Kanksha

The Spiti Valley

Rudyard Kipling called Spiti "a world within a world" and it's not hard to understand why. The giant rock mountains around could not have been carved by any mortal hand but only the force of wind and water over millennia. In Spiti you'll learn that there is another path into the future - a path based on the co-evolution between humans and earth. At first, the traveller will only see the harsh life, but give yourself time and you'll see the rare kind of purity the people live with. For the adventure traveller, Spiti is a virtual "Natural Theme Park", there are seemingly endless array of activities to be enjoyed in the mountains. 

~ The Shepherd

This post is for people who are planning to visit Spiti, and to convince others to make a trip at least once in their lives. It will follow a simple format: Where to live, what to see, where to eat, and my favourite part.

THANEDAAR
We flew to Chandigarh and drove to Thanedaar. It took us 5-6 hours. A more popular first location is Narkanda. We chose to stay at Thanedaar because we found amazing property there.
Where to live: Seetalvan Orchard, 77km from Shimla. 
Beautiful property. An entire orchard attached to it. Hammocks. View. Peace. Flowers. Birds. And cute dwarfy furniture.

What to see: Tani Jubbar Lake
Tired from our long flight and freezing halt at Delhi airport, in dire need of fresh air and rest, we mainly just enjoyed the property. Asked for a tour of the orchard. Chilled with cherries and tea. We went to Tani Jubbar Lake the next morning, and the small ecological park next to it. It is very small, but you can get good pictures. The trash thrown in the park is disheartening.

Tani Jubbar Lake

Where to eat: Seetalvan Orchard

The owner informed us that we were free to pick and eat as many cherries, apples, apricots, and peaches as we wanted. The food prepared otherwise was also excellent.

Favourite part: has to be eating cherries right from the tree! 

darker red big ones were the best

In case you want to live somewhere else...
Narkanda suggested property: Hatu Valley Home and HPTDC's property. Have not been myself.


SANGLA
Where to live: Hotel Royal Castle. Hotel Batseri was very expensive, same with Kinner Camps.
The place was clean. The heaters were pretty good. The view from our rooms was nice too.

What to see: Padam Palace on the way, ChitkulOn your way you will come across Padam Palace at Rampur. Do stop over for a visit. The palace will have a separate post soon. Rampur is also the hub for all fruits, vegetables, and dry fruits. So feel free to pick some up for the rest of your trip from the market!
We reached at night due to a landslide, so nothing happened that day.
But the next day at Chitkul was breathtaking. There was a river that we walked down too. And I cannot tell you how badly I just wanted to sit beside it and listen to the water for a few hours. Please find some space less crowded that you can go down the river to - we went about 300m away from the Indo-Tibet border patrol's point. Basically there is a popular spot which we avoided.

Chitkul: By the river

Where to eat: At Hotel Royal Castle. 
Because our food was included. And the food was VERY GOOD. And cheap.

Favourite part: Chitkul by the river. Must not miss going here.

KALPA

on our way: from green to rock

Where NOT to live: Hotel KinnerVilla.
Why? We had taken the deluxe rooms. They were tiny. The bathrooms were weirdly shaped. There was no view from the room. There ARE better rooms, but the hotel was full so even though we had booked in advance, the manager gave us these. I'd recommend you to confirm whether you will be getting a room with a view, and probably going for the super deluxe rooms instead. If all you care about is safety though, this place would work for you.

What to do: Walk in the village.
We walked down to the village. The houses were small, and the weather was great. Walked up to a monastery. Basically the only thing you could really do here is roam around the village, look at the Durga Fort maybe (which was shut when we reached). But we thoroughly enjoyed. 

Where to eat: Not at Hotel KinnerVilla.
The chef was very nice person to talk to. But I did not like the food.
Where to live: Hotel Grand Shambha-la. Kinner Kailash (HPTDC's property). These were our first preferences which were already full when we booked. Check them out maybe!

the rainbow

Favourite part: when we spotted a rainbow in the evening, and a glow worm at night.

TABO
(From Kalpa to Tabo, there is a place called Punjabi dhaba. You will get an unbelievably clean bathroom there. And 70 rupees unlimited lunch.)
Where to live: Hotel Maitrey Regency
Since they had a demand for deluxe rooms, they upgraded us to super deluxe. Great location. Very friendly staff.

What to see: Tabo caves and Tabo Monastery We went for a (super small according to our reception guy)  25-minute walk to Tabo caves. It was a short hike only, and the caves were enough for a person or two to sit in. It just felt nice climbing up a mountain partially and being able to see the entire town from above.

view from above

We followed the map and walked through the lane. There were cafes. And restaurants. A monk gave us some breathing tips and explained to us how they try to make both eyes one as they focus and meditate. 

feel free to follow the trail!

The next morning we visited Tabo monastery. 1000+ years old, it was completely made of mud. The main hall had four statues of Buddha. A statue with a bowl is Amitabha. Amitabha is the buddha before the current one. Maitreya had a mudra with thumb and forefinger joined. Surrounding on all walls there were the kundrik deities. So they seem to belong to the vajra mandal. The deities near the door are always scary looking because they are the protectors. All the mudras are different. Monks generally do puja of the kundrik. 

the monastery back side

On the left there was the Golden Temple. It's known as so because the painting in the center had gold highlights on the clothes. Real gold of course. You could still see it.
Another temple had paintings of the olden day kingdoms. One more had the medicine god with 28 something, and a lot more that I can't remember. And one more with a lot of ancient books that have never been opened.
There were stones engraved with 'om mani padme hoon'. Click here to find out what it means. Travellers in the olden days would deposit carved stones here hence they're piled up.
A lady told us how there are a total of 9 temples in that area. A couple of them were shut since the local people had not come for work. We met some really cute kids, and as advised by someone online, gave them chocolate. I'd request you to carry chocolate as well. 

Where to eat: Hotel Maitrey Regency!!!
Thank God I had seen the menu prices and had the foresight to only book rooms and order ala carte. They made us Jain momos and thukpa - something no one else agreed to do. The best pancakes and pasta. And lovely decor.

AMAZING

Favourite part: Disha and my dad being the explorers they are decided to go into the only rectangular structure. I was above the structure when my dad shouted at me to bring my camera. There's a statue, he said. You must go click a photograph. It looks like a statue of a sadhu. I went quickly to the door. It was dark. I was confused. Could not see anything. Disha motioned for me to come forward and look into a corner. And there it was. A triangle of orange. I didn't go much further. I was (obviously)  scared. I clicked one photo fast. But the flash was off. So I put it on. And before I could click, THE STATUE SPOKE: "You can come here." To say we freaked out is an understatement. We RAN out of the mini house.

Shopping: very pretty hairpins in silver and gold for 200 rupees outside the monastery. Keeps your hair up like a charm. 

KAZA
Where to live: Hotel Deyzor.
I did not live there (again already booked), I went to eat dinner there on both days. And it was TOO GOOD. Sakya Abode was also already booked which is supposed to be great. I lived at Hotel Snow Lion which was okay okay.

What to see: Day 1 Dhankar Monastery and Trek to Dhankar lake. Day 2 Ki Monastery and HikkimThe way to Kaza was about 2 hours and we stopped at Dhankar monastery. We saw a helipad and wished paragliding could be an actual way to travel. We also saw snow. It was super cold.
Dhankar monastery is where the head lama comes every winter to meditate. He gets out of his meditation room only to eat, that too in the dark, and is supposed to keep his mind inside the meditation cave. I really don't know how they don't get scared.  

too pretty to not share: on our way

Monastery: it was snowing!!

The highlight of Dhankar had to be the 2km trek to the lake. It was snowing lightly.  We were freezing. And we were climbing up the hill. The monastery and mini town were left behind us. We saw the Pin and Spiti river confluence.

the confluence

The wind was slowing us down. It was an exhausting climb and took us 2 hours. But it was so very worth it. The lake was beautiful. The mountains around with a sort of green chicken pox were also worth it. And as the sky cleared up, we got a much better view of the snow mountains. It was as if they were next to us. Dhankar lake was a mini world itself. It was hard to imagine one side of a mountain to look so different from the other. The way down took us only 30 mins.

At Ki Monastery, the door on the right led us to a split, on the left there were meditation rooms that were completely dark with tiny windows that we guessed may be what the monks focused on. The door on the right took us to huge figurines which were the four protectors. The walls were covered with cloth to save the remains of the paintings. As we walked a little upwards, a monk took us into a small chamber and offered us some hot tea before he took us to the rest. We were taken to a room where there were paintings of philosophers and their work in the past 1000 years, and a stupa too.
We went to Kibber next. We just appreciated the open air school there but tbh it was pretty pointless.
Sending postcards to friends and family at Hikkim was very fun. You have to go a bit neeche, and then you'll reach a tiny house which will have one square room. 6000 rupees worth post is sent every day. One postcard costs 6 rupees to reach Mumbai. And 10 if you put it in an envelope. Even if I assume every person sends 3 envelopes, at least 200 people come on a daily basis in the season. Highest post office of the world might be posting the most too!! 

Keep the address of friends and family handy!

We did not go to Langza even though it is said that it was once submerged by Thethys Sea and has marine fossils because someone told us there isn't much to see there. 

Where to eat: Hotel Deyzor

looked prettier in person

The decor blew me away. How can a place be so artsy!!! It had such a lot of artwork hung everywhere I was in love. I was even more in love with the food. Tomato basil soup, tacos, and a wrap. Unfortunately, they couldn't make pizza since the mozzarella cheese comes from Manali and those roads are shut. The next day we had yummy enchiladas and green pea soup which really tasted like green peas. Also called for a salad which we enjoyed.
Lunch was once at the Himalayan cafe. It has a fun atmosphere with rap music and a great collection of t-shirts and books. Dead tired, we filled out stomachs with the only Jain food they could make. They don't have any eggless desserts either. So a great environment but not as great food.
Did not get anything in the market except banana and mango.

This is Simba. Go to Deyzor to know his story.

Favourite part: Disha and I learned how to make pebbles hop in the lake from dad.  

Realisations: Buddhism is really just about being a good human being. Be compassionate, have patience.  If you can't in this birth, hope and pray for a full body so that you can try in the next. The monk told us how you will know what level you are at on your own. No one else can tell you. You can only help yourself. He asked us to follow our own religion and the path shown by it. It's all the same, he said. We just need to respect all religions.
He told us how schools here at Himachal have normal HP curriculum for the first half of the day, and teach Buddhist philosophy and meditation in the second half. After the tenth standard, the children are allowed to choose whether they would like to explore the outside world or follow the spiritual path. I really liked the idea of that.
Everyone there seemed so full of kindness and looked so satisfied and at peace, the vibe was incredible. We got out of Ki Monastery being astounded by the similarities in Jainism and Buddhism. I hate how at least in Mumbai, for a lot of people that I know, Jainism is more about not eating underground vegetables, doing puja, and fasting on specific days. It's about the pratikraman and following the no touching rule when a woman is on her period. But what I believe the essence of Jainism and any other religion too for that matter is just being a good human being.
Be kinder. Empathise with living beings. To complain less, and accept and adapt more. To be grateful and help those in need in your own capacity and even beyond. To be one with nature and do no harm. 

NAKO
Where to live: Rikpa Homestay. Another place suggested to us which seemed nice was Hotel Reo Purguil. 
Rikpa Homestay was extremely homey. Take the bigger rooms since they are nicer. One of the only places to guarantee he will give you hot water even when the electricity is gone. Also close to the lake - walking distance.

What to see: Lake, Village walk, and detour to Pin Valley and Gue Monastery on the wayThe Gue Monastery was creepy. It has a live mummy. Live mummys are basically people who have mummified themselves while they are alive. This stuff creeps me out, and it gives my sister a thrill.  Google or check my Spiti highlights on Instagram (@letsgorandomco) to know more.
We thought our drive to Pin Valley would be pointless, till we came across tiny falling stones, looked up expecting a landslide, only to find a herd of ibex when we looked hard enough!!

the herd was next to it

At Nako though, go to the lake. Walk the village. You can cover the entire village in one circular walk. It has pretty square coverings in the middle which were apparently created to make ghosts run away. Very cute village.

square covering

what mom could see

Where to eat: We ate at our homestay. 
There was a place that made you pizza and falafel but the guy was very busy to even talk to us due to an influx of foreigners.

Favourite part: Picking up rocks as souvenirs for my friends and family (which I still have not distributed) with the intention of giving it to them with a note that says "You rock." I got 20+ rocks with me. Better give them to people soon.

RAMPUR
Where to stay:  Hotel Nau Nabh - Padam Palace Hotel.
Live in the non-AC room which has wooden carvings on the top. Ask for it. I didn't pick that because I did not know. But the property is like five-star property. You really won't get better. If not this, try for the HPTDC property.

The top room here

What to see: Padam Palace
Entire blogpost coming soon because my father told them I am a blogger and they let us in because I'd write a blog on it. Exciting. Sweet.

What to eat: At Padam Palace
They have good quantity. Order Indian food. Continental was not great. Paneer kulcha was good.

Favourite part: Inside the palace of course. But honestly watching big bang theory with my sister and having a hot water bath with unlimited hot water and sleeping on an amazing bed.

SHIMLA (my suggestions for Shimla are useless)
Where to stay: The Press House BnB
The location was not as convenient as we thought, there were so many hotels on our 2km walk back from Mall Road to Press House that we sort of wished we had booked there. The accommodation itself was really cute, and the host very nice, and it was a good place, but I'd like to try a place more open and close to Mall Road the next time I go.

What to see: Mall Road
We didn't have much time. The number of people at Mall Road were annoying. We enjoyed the ice cream and juice though. 

Where to eat: Don't really know.

Favourite part: there wasn't any favourite part really. It was a bleh place.

And we drove to Chandigarh, had south Indian food, and came back.

Make sure you have a safe and recommended driver. I do not recommend driving on your own. They have their own language of how honking means that you want to overtake and giving signals means the person behind you can overtake, beyond the narrow roads which require solid confidence while overtaking.

Do not take food included at any of these places (except probably Seetalvan orchard). Book only bedrooms without breakfast and dinner. The food is generally much lower priced than atleast Mumbai people would expect, and ordering ala carte lets you order different cusines wherever you go, and save on money as well.

Book the hotels on your own. It may help you save money.

The last three days for us were unbooked. We were supposed to come back from Manali, but Kunzum pass was shut. Hence from Nako, we did the bookings on the go. Keep calling the place you want till the last day, you may even get it due to a last minute cancellation (that's how we got Padam Palace 3 hours before we reached there).

CARRY A BSNL phone if you want to have network. No other network provider has reached Nako yet. So Nako onwards you will have no network. Which is fine. But if you want network, carry a phone with BSNL.

It is one of the most beautiful place I have ever been to. I think the fact that I went with my family was the best too, because we all have similar and varied interests. This isn't a trip you want to do with fussy people, or people who don't enjoy exploring and outdoors.

Good luck, stay safe! Let me know if you have any further questions, I would be happy to help :)
Kanksha <3

The Roommate Rulebook

Finding a roommate is like an arranged marriage. There are compatibility checks, background checks, and personal questions asked directly to someone you probably never would have otherwise.  It starts with a message, escalates to a call in a couple of days, and to meeting up. Fast forward a few months and you are sharing a home. Woah.

With my limited month-ful of experience, I realised there are certain decisions we all have to take and certain conversations that we all have to have. And while I was going through this process, I asked people a bunch of questions and thought about a lot of things. So I'm writing this to make my life easier (my roommates will also see this: hi guys!), and even yours (because you can should share this with your roommates telling them you think you guys should follow them easy-peasy gone is the awkward conversation) Oh what nice publicity I will get :P

Jokes apart...

Money money money 
The first thing you need to be clear about is your budget. Finances are tricky. Apartments are expensive. Know how much your cap amount is. Discuss it with your parents.
When you are looking for roommates, look for people who have a similar budget. This will make the process of finding apartments much easier since elimination due to the budget will become infrequent. Compromising at the end of the day due to largely different budgets that your roommates have, is something you could possibly resent them for (even if the compromise was your decision).

Eating habits, smoking, and drinking
Since you are living with this person, you want to make sure you are comfortable with their lifestyle, and they are with yours. Eating habits often become a deal breaker for vegetarians. A sweet in between could be if nonvegetarian people do not cook meat at home, and store meat in closed containers when they order it from outside. Again, maybe some people would not be okay with calling for nonvegetarian food at home in the first place. Likewise, there are lots of grey areas. I'm okay if you drink, as long as you can take care of yourself. I'm okay if you smoke, as long as you don't in the house.
For most people, these things are black or white. But due to factors like friendships, or belonging to the same city, the same people begin considering the grey. My suggestion is that if you do, be very specific and clear from day one about what works for you and what doesn't.

CLEANLINESS: leave a place how you would like it to be left to you

BUT I JUST WANT TO LAY DOWN TOO SO CAN WE COOPERATE? THANKS.

This is super important to me. I may not be super regular with stuff at home, but I know I could not survive in a messy environment. Enforcing rules of cleanliness is tough without offending another person. Here are some I have thought of.

In the kitchen

1. Wash vessels in real time. It takes two minutes. Really. This way you won't get attacked by cockroaches one fine day when you grab a glass of water at midnight.
2. When you are done cooking, clear the counter. Put things back. Clean the platform like it was before.
3. Clean the sink and remove food from the net that's stopping it from draining away with the water.  

In the bathroom:

1. There is a wet area. That is where you have a bath. There is a dry area. That is generally where you emit bodily fluids. Keep the dry area dry. You don't want water on your feet every time you step in. (This is sometimes not obvious in India, because the area is the same. That is not the case there. There will be some partition between the two.)
2. Girls especially, when you wash your hair, make sure you pick it up with a designmated toothbrush at the end and throw it in the trash. That will keep the bathing area clean.
3. If there is a bucket you are using, flip it over once done to remove the excess water. Keep it flipped over if you want, no harm.
4. Keep the sink clean after you use it. 

General:

1. Have trash days or weeks assigned to a person. Basically designate how you're splitting taking the trash out so some people don't always have to do it.
2. If you're sharing milk and other basic food products that are cheaper if you buy greater quantities, create a system for that too. 

Roommates or Flatmates? 
This is very subjective. We all start off and continue to want our own room and bathroom. But here is where your budget plays a major role. You will realise that the average price for a house you want, and we'll get to what to keep in mind while looking for a house later, will be X for sharing rooms and bathroom, Y for individual rooms and sharing a bathroom, and Z for individual room and bath. At Atlanta, it's 550, 700, and 1000 dollars per month respectively. You are going to have to stick to your budget. So this choice becomes easy. Because it really isn't much of a choice unless you let go of some other stuff. Keep reading.

Does it matter whether my roommates are from the same course as me? 
Yes, and no. It may help if you have group projects and you get along with them. It may help if you are stuck somewhere (but I question how many people would ask their roommate for academic help). I mean it really may help.
But there's a flip side if you just want to come home to peace. If you don't want there to be any bad blood or competition. If you don't want to be living and working with the same people. None of this will necessarily happen, I'm just talking about the possibilities.
I'll be living with one person from my course, and two from others. And I think that's a pretty sweet combination.

Does their place of origin matter?
Another important thing would be that people from the same place you come from, would probably be the ones you would get along with better. So yes, it does. There's a connection that you share. Of course there are exceptions. But reaching out to people from the same city would be a good idea because you even get a chance to meet them in person that way.

2 people? 3 people? 4 people? More people? 
I was very excited at the thought of 2 people in an apartment. Easy management. Simple life. But the girl I was talking told me she planned to come back to India in January for some work for half a month, and I realised I didn't want to be alone. So 2 could get lonely. But otherwise pretty sorted.
With three people, it's great if you're all friends. It's not as much as four, but 2/3 people being at home has a higher possibility. The downside of this is that 2/3 people might get along more. And one person may feel a little out of place. This doesn't seem reason enough to not go with 3. I'm just putting it out there though.
4 is sweet. It's okay if there are two pairs of 2, but it'd be amazing if all 4 got along. There's a higher chance you'll get along with 1-2 people, so lower chances of feeling left out. But while more the merrier, more the crowd too.
More than 4 I have not thought about. If you have views, I would like to know!

How do I choose my house? 
My priorities were safety, proximity to the university (has to be within a mile and walking distance), and the presence of a grocery store nearby. Everyone has their own list. Since safety is one of the common concern, safe apartment complexes tend to be more expensive. For example, in a relatively unsafe area, I could get my own room for 500 dollars too. So you will have to pick your priorities and decide what matters most to you. My aim is to expose you to all the things that could matter. Maybe your priority is having your own room. Maybe it is having good amenities in the building. It could be important for you to have a good parking space. Or an inbuilt washer dryer. Or an air conditioner or elevator. I don't know. Figure it out.

Should I take the living room? 
I like the idea of having a common space between three or four or more people. But maybe converting the living room is much cheaper or feasible. Here are the things you should keep in mind:

1. Your flatmates will cook in the kitchen. There will be noise, even if they are being considerate. Let them know they will have to be considerate. 
2. You will have to look for a partition. This could be a Chinese curtain, or a huge cupboard maybe, or a mix of both. But this is your lookout, your hassle, and your investment. 
3. You may or may not have your own cupboard. You may have to share a bathroom and/or cupboard with someone. Both parties need to be okay with this. This also means that the person who has a room and is sharing cupboard space and bathroom space with you may have to keep the door open at most times, or at least have an open door policy with the person living in the hall specifically. Discuss this openly. Check who you are most comfortable sharing space with.

Irrespective of whether YOU live in the living room or not, understand that no common space means there's no place for everyone to hang out together if they want to. You can't chill with a bunch or a couple of friends, in case that is something you are used to back at home. This sounds a bit sad to me, even if people aren't going to hang out often at all.

Sleep timings also come under lifestyle, right? So if I'm sharing rooms with someone, how could this affect me? 
I guess again there needs to be an understanding that alarms are going to ring at awkward timings. And the other person will have to push themselves to wake up quickly.
But beyond that, if you guys have a common space (assuming you do if you are sharing rooms), then you could have a rule where each person studies in the living area if the roommate is sleeping. This is easily workable, and clashing schedules would not, as far as I can imagine, affect you negatively.

A general suggestion is that be clear about what stuff is yours, and if someone wants something, they should ask you before taking it. And return it back. I have heard multiple instances of people not able to express this, and facing trouble confronting their roommates about it later on.
And it's important to have friends other than your roommates as well. But this probably would come under another post which I may or may not write in the future.

Yepp, summarising.

1. You need to be clear about what you want.
2. Then you need to be able to communicate it with your roommates.

If you realise they are not understanding of your needs initially, feel glad that you realised at the beginning, and look for new people. It's okay if you don't find them in the first or second go. Be patient. There are lots of people.

So yeah, have difficult discussions. Be open to what others are saying and keep thinking about what works best for YOU. Continue to communicate openly.

And if you can't...

Good luck if you're on your own roommate or house hunt!
Kanksha <3

-----------------------

A SMALL NOTE

-----------------------

I find it funny how I wrote this post and I haven't even lived by myself yet. But this advice is a compilation of things I have read, things my mom has told me, stuff that my seniors have passed on, things from discussions I've had with my friends, and arguments with my head when I had to make these decisions too. 

I had the time to put it down, and the inclination so I went ahead. I hope it helps. I know it doesn't give you concrete answers, but it delineates the possibilities that should help you make informed decisions.

If there's something you think I could add, mention it in the comments and I'll append it to the post! More information is always welcome. 

The twenties screw us over

(I HIGHLY RECOMMEND listening to the above while reading below for the full effect. highly highly highly recommend. So please listen and read along, thanks!!)

I am twenty-one years old. Eventually I will be twenty-two.
And because some of my friends are twenty-two already, it feels great to be so young.

There are some people like Aditi who probably even feel happy that they're a year older - at least their maturity matches their age more than it did before. And then there are those who go through a mid-life crisis like most nineteen-year-olds do - I DO NOT WANT TO STOP BEING A TEENAGER. BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING JUST SOUNDS SO OLD ARRGGHH. And at first glance, you might not understand why a body-changing, core beliefs challenging, and uncertainty inducing dynamic is one that a person would miss. It generates rebels and copy-cats, and is a generation of people trying to understand who they are. Dealing with the criticism and at times even ridicule of other teenagers is universal and (obviously) doesn't help.

But when you turn twenty, armed with battle scars from the past seven years of life, teenage seems like a piece of cake. The twenties are where the real problem lies.

You're too young to be an actual adult in anyone's eyes and too old to be a kid. It's the time where you forget about finding yourself and focus on finding a job or university with whom you'll be married to for the next seven years. Somewhere in the middle, you might also try to find a second wife/husband whom you will get married to forever. And now if you haven't figured yourself out, or you don't have a predilection towards something, or a developed thinking enough to take your own decisions, the twenties get pretty messy.

I say that the twenties screw us over because it's these ten years of our lives where we probably make every irrevocable decision. (I mean you can change it, but it's more convenient if you like your job and your partner or whatever you do for a living.) There's pressure from everywhere to get it right. We have people counting on us, money being invested in us, and our own life unrolling from the camera reel in our eyes with every decision we make. There's no way we can pick the other combination and see how our life would have turned out like. (At the same time, I do not think any combination would consist of purely happy experiences. But I like to think that every experience is a positive one. In fact, experiences with negative endings end up being the ones you grow from the most.)

We feel that our decisions are irrevocable.
We feel like we have to get everything right.
We feel like one wrong step and it is the end of the world.

but
(of course there's a but)

The beauty of the twenties is that you have the liberty to experience. You have the liberty to keep trying, failing, and wholly understand what works for you. You can change paths, you can go wrong, you can 'fall'. And then you can pick yourself up, think what is next, and begin smashing your goals again. You will feel the energy of people around you slowly seep into your body. (So choose the people you surround yourself with carefully.) Motivation, power, and passion - look for it, pass it on, and let it come back to you in a full circle.

I urge you to do exactly what you want, unapologetically. I ask you to take responsibility for what you are doing and what you are feeling. Know that every single day is a choice. And make the choice you want at every minute or hour of the day.

Don't know what you want? Don't know what you are doing?

That brings me to the second thing I think our twenties (and I could go so far to say even our lives) are about. If we're going to let ourselves go wild and experience everything we want to, here is the leash that will keep us on track: our aim needs to be getting clarity.

I don't remember where I read this, but there's a saying that talks about having an idea of a destination you want to reach. This is important, because if we do not, wherever we reach becomes the destination. Set-backs will only pave way for new opportunities or stop us from reaching a place we are probably not ready for yet. So what is important is to keep checking how our current actions help us reach our destination, or at least better understand what our destination is! Get clarity on this, and automatically you will know where you are headed and how to get there. The more places to go, the merrier ^_^

Honestly guys, just trust the timing of your life. You have to keep going. Sleep for a decent amount of time. Switch up your routine to include things that refresh you like going for a walk, or playing an instrument. Just have faith in yourself and be confident about your abilities.

Because I guess the twenties do not screw us over. That is something we do to ourselves.

Do you complain or do you conquer?
Do you woe or grow?
Do you over things stress over or do you become the girl on fire?

You decide.

Kanksha
This girl is on fireee.

The Elephanta

Fun facts about the Elephanta:

1. On opening a dabba of watermelon, monkeys will come forward with hands wide open, expecting you to give it to them. (It was adorable how they didn't snatch it)

2. For the first time in your life, you may reach somewhere quicker than a train can.

Okay but jokes apart, it's not bad at all. 

I went there on 2nd April 2017 with my parents and it was A LOT of fun. The monkey experience was unforgettable and I managed to tick off sitting-on-a-toy-train-without-breaking-it from my bucket list.

We took the first ferry and were accompanied by sea gulls almost throughout the journey, flying alongside with their black and white beaks. I loved the sea, and looking at the boats reminded me that there's this entire world living on water that we don't even know about.

On reaching the island in about 55 minutes, we began walking up the steps. For some reason we thought there were 1000, lucky for us that they got done in about 150 so we barely even felt the climb. On both sides were restaurants and small shops with souvenirs, tempting the travelers to buy something. (THEY HAVE MALL PRICES, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

The entry free wasn't much for us and we had finally reached the heart of the caves.

On reaching there, please take a guide, otherwise they'll just be meaningless stone carvings to you. He'll explain the meaning behind the caves, you'll observe the delicate details. For instance, the mustache and serpents will give you a hint that the person is 'bad' and Parvati has a specific kind of necklace. Most of the carvings are of Lord Shiv, Parvati or their sons.

The most amusing story to me was the Origin of Honeymoon. Apparently, Parvati's mama (mother's brother) was the moon and when Shiv and Parvati were getting married, decided to give honey so that only sweet things would be said. Hence honey + moon = honeymoon. The guide claims that this is where the Britishers got that term from.

As we got out, we decided to go to Cannon hill whose trail comes on your right once you've climbed the 150 steps. This was my favourite part as I enjoy trekking and being with nature in silence. My sister, a bird enthusiast, helped us spot a few birds and even knew their names which I think is really cool. Dad was clicking pictures and mom kept spotting different plants and trees. The view from above was stunning and the angle of visibility gives you an idea of why there are two cannons in the first place. We also saw the dome of BARC (is that a big deal?)

With some Maaza to soothe our throats alongwith actual mangoes and cucumber - you cannot miss cucumber with the 'masala' - we walked down and took the toy train instead of walking in the sweltering heat.

The ferry back home was slower because we were going against the wind but I think I fell asleep in the middle. After lunch in Kailash Parbat at Colaba and some tasty lassi, home was the destination.

You should definitely go there once!
Kanksha <3